The Villages Daily Sun

LADY LAKE — Initial calls concerning your insurance claim have been made, you have shelter and food. The shock of the tornado begins to wear off. So how do you handle your grief and other emotions?

The American Red Cross has set up a disaster relief service center at Lady Lake Town Hall to offer resources, including mental health volunteers, for immediate, short-term crisis counseling, said Dee Elliott, disaster mental health volunteer with the Red Cross.

Although recovering from the tornado may take time, the Red Cross is available to ease that recovery, Elliott said.

“It’s a grief process. It’s a loss,” Elliott said. “And people experience loss in different ways, but generally they are relieved that it wasn’t more serious than it was for them, but then they’re angry. And they’ll probably become frustrated with all the processes involved — frustration, anger.”

Grief counseling will be available from 10 a.m. until 6 p.m. at Lady Lake Town Hall until the need has been met, said Ginny Hogan, deputy director of the American Red Cross disaster relief operation.

People may feel every possible emotion, Elliott said. An emotional wound such as this imitates a physical injury and takes time to heal.

If victims still experience severe distress in a month or two, Elliott urges them to seek professional crisis counseling.

Most emotions people feel in times of trauma are “normal reactions to abnormal situations,” Elliott said, but family and friends should nonetheless watch for signs of something more serious.

“Anger that doesn’t subside is probably a key one,” Hogan said. “Depression, people stop eating. Typical (signs) of depression. If you’re a friend of someone who suffered a loss, let them talk about it. That’s the best thing that you can do. And they may talk about it and talk about it, but it’s a cathartic for them. It gives them a chance to release.”

Also, Hogan said, don’t tell them you understand, because unless you, too, have lost your house, you probably don’t understand.

Instead, offer a shoulder to cry on and watch for warning symptoms such as chronic anger. Also, if they stop eating or sleeping, encourage them to seek professional counseling.

The Red Cross also has condolence teams reaching out to families who have lost loved ones, Hogan said, and counselors are out in the community providing personal visits and support.

For more information regarding Red Cross services, call (800) GETINFO.

The severity of victims’ reactions depends on the extent to which they were affected by the tornado, said Charles Figley, professor of social work at Florida State University.

Envision a bull’s-eye, Figley suggests. In the center are people who lost a pet, loved one or a residence. The next ring encompasses people with some structural damage who know people severely affected by the tornado. The next ring is for those who just had a close call.

“In all three areas, they tend to process the experience,” Figley said. “They think through the experience, addressing five questions, and the answers to those five questions enable them to move on, or else they get stuck.”

Those questions are: what happened; why did this happen; why did I behave the way I did when it was happening; why have I acted the way I have since that time; and what if this happens again?

People in the outer ring of the bull’s-eye have typically worked through these questions already, Figley said, but those in the two inner rings still have physical evidence that reminds them of how they have been affected.

The fifth question is the most difficult to address, Figley said, but dealing with these questions determines how people are able to get through traumatic times.

Children react differently than adults during times of crisis, said Kate Conradt, senior manager of media and communications for Save the Children.

Save the Children is an international organization that works with children and for children’s interests and organizations during times of emergency.

Since children are more vulnerable than adults and are less capable of processing information, they may have a difficult time understanding what happened, Conradt said. Children are extremely resilient, but they need extra support so they can bounce back quickly.

“When you go through an emergency, the experience manifests itself in different ways,” Conradt said, “and with children, they may not sleep well, they may act out, they may start associating every bad thing with the storm or they may even think it’s their fault, which, of course it isn’t. So the more parents can help the kids regain a regular schedule, the better.”

One way to expedite this process is to turn off the television so children don’t relive the traumatic events, Conradt said. Parents should watch for emotional swings or any out-of-character behavior in their children.

Save the Children is working with area schools and organizations to assess children’s needs and provide support and resources as needed.

“It’s hard being shoved into an adult world during a disaster,” Conradt said.

Alexandra Lundahl is a reporter with the Daily Sun. She can be reached at 753-1119, ext. 9071, or alexandra.lundahl@thevillagesmedia.com.